Haunting Memories .....

2014 hasn’t been that great year. More downs than up. There wasn’t much to write. Actually there was a lots to write but that would mean more whining. I did Encountered  a lot this year giving enough fodder to 450 gm Brain . But putting them  on my blog meant people getting frustrated reading my confusions  and cursing me for the same. " NO  :has been seem to became a adjective associated with me ..... NO for Hero honda ... No for IDEA ... No for TNS  ...No from parents  .. No for ... Ok enough ..

I guess I am currently in a state of Writer’s block but I was never a writer. I guess the steam finally ran out.

Maybe I have stopped feeling for anything and become more mechanical. But that is one thing I am sure of. I don’t feel much nowadays!

I have lots of anger and that’s lot of feelings but anger is spontaneous and mostly unnecessary. Writing about the time I am pissed with anybody or anything can make numerous posts but then I better forget it than write about it.

I plan to write about a topic and then just think about it till I finally lose interest in writing it. Some untold stories, some incomplete incidents remain in my computer waiting to be completed.

I don’t think I will be completing them anytime soon. Maybe never! The moment is gone and so are the memories.

Terminating with my Old Favourite Song Beautifully Narrated by Dev Anand ..........

 " Ma Zindagi Ka saath nibhata chala gaya , 

   Har fikr ko dhua ma udaata chala gaya ! 

                   Gum aur khushi ma fark na mahasus ho jaya ..............................

                                 Ma dil ko us mukam pa lata chala gaya !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

( Taken from a old write - up i wrote same time last year .... finally posting ) 

Two poles of Mind

Many time we don't need someone to argue ... its our own mind which takes poles apart to start the discussion

there is a topic which is currently peeps up every time i am alone or aloof  which is " what to do next " . i am at a place where i am at age of 26 after a hell of qualification which people term is necessary enough to climb whichever ladder i want to ...still don;t able to set my priorities straight .

so the discussion begin with if i want peace of mind or i want material pleasure  ??? first stand  .. lets go back to home town to live back with papa . mummy with nephew - niece , with sisters and all other for whom i care .. may be back i can't please them with monetary gifts but i can be with them in small events .. sadness and happiness making all of them to part of my memory , cherish the pleasure to be with them becaz if i realize after 5-10 yr this point and then there will no-one who can have same bonding with me as they have in present ... may be then jodhpur will became same as what delhi is for me today ..........

But the counter points comes - hey monu  there are 15- 17 of your cousin who are there with family but see their living standard .. they are almost at same place where u left 4 yrs back .. there family seems unaffected by their presence ..they had become a part of the furniture out there . Also My Family had Expectation ... i want to buy them stuff which they missed to bring life to three of us ... my nephew and niece sees me as uncle who will bring loads of gift  .. they take me as ideal who is fighting against all odd , leaving far away from family and always made all the right decision .. and back home i will not able to provide the extra things which i always wanted for myself ....my parents made my life better then their own ... now its my duty to pass this leagcy to future chaps ..

And now its not about me .. its about us ...i known she has all good intentions ...she will be a good housewife ..but the fears of in-law make her scared of jodhpur ... I truly understand her point as making it with my mother is a big gamble and in case things don;t make up well , life of all will be hell .. somewhat what we encountered in last trip ...

Truly speaking , till time i was alone in delhi .. all pain - problems i tried to absorbed on my own ...Not transferring that to my family ... knowing that they are already dealing with many back there ... but now i am scared i want to give comfort to her and doesn't known the definition of Ideal Husband .. may be nobody trained or explained what is called a good husband is .. i am still like her old friend who can resolve her difficulty but now to fixer my role has become planner .. her life planner and that makes things scared what if my decision went wrong ?? .


Hope like always ... my mind comes up with a solution by gods grace just before the time i am about to  break .. i known i believed this for 26 year and this going to be continue ..thats why people call me Smart ... and i knw who is behind this smartness .... My gods blessing . 

CERC _ Proposed Benchmark Tariff for Solar project 2014-15

CERC has recently published their proposed Tariff and Cost estimation for Renewable Energy Project for FYI 2014-15 . It is worthwhile to note that :

Proposed Price of Solar PV Plant – Rs. 5.87 cr/ MW

Proposed Solar PV Tariff without AD – Rs. 6.86/unit

Proposed Solar PV Tariff with AD – Rs. 6.19 /Unit 

This is significantly lower than last year Estimation and the biggest drop is seen in the Solar Modules Price which is considered as INR 3.2 Crore / MW which is below average price as agreed by majority of the Bigger IPP Players when compared to their recent purchases .

There going to be strong objection to benchmark adopted for calculation and the final outcome would set tone for upcoming solar tender worth 3000 -4000 MW this year .

Complete PDF is Available on below mention link and last date of submission of comments/feedback was 18th march 2015 .

Link : http://www.cercind.gov.in/2014/draft_reg/Public%20NoticeFY2015-2016.pdf 

Land of Mountains , desert and snow ..Leh

New Year bash ....

After Marriage , this was our First New year celebration together  and 26th Year individually too ..... Me the Coup , she the apple ........starting 2 days went with loads of Hindi movie Masala ...... still with hopes with upcoming year will be better then all past 25 Christmas we had seen .

With 26th time promising with self that we will adhere to resolution ... although the criteria  changed from ANY job to BETTER job ... to getting married to getting settled ... from Two Wheeler to Shifting to a car .... from convincing parents to convincing parents-in-law ..

But i don't want to sound Pessimistic on 1st blog that i will procrastinate all these promises as i keep doing every year ...

First of the Promise I done with Mimu( My wife )  is change of job within 1st quarter of this year ... and keeping my fingers Crossed and  praying to God to Help me Attain the same .

Still whatever happen .. i will keep the attitude i learnt from Thakur ( My Father ) ............... " Itni tension na la ... Kuch bhi ho 17E/31( Address of my home )  hamesha khulla ha ..... u can always depend on Me " ......

And my resolution since 1985 ... ki ma papa ko bhi yahi vishwas dilwa saku ... ki " MAIN HU NA"

{ Post drafted since Dec 2014 but able to only publish now , don;t know what was holding me back }  .... 

Reading Omens

God Has lots of thing to share with us ..they try to share them with situation , hurdles , peoples and choices .

he want us to learn through small difficulties and to get prepared for bigger one ... For the time , there was one constant knock on my mind for the job i am stuck in ... for 100 reasons i knw , it was only 3-4 reason which were kept me moving with this Work ...the Life which was constantly detorating my confidence , my urge to improve my life .. my capaciy to demand and get what a person like me deserved ... but u i ignoring the omens .... may be the omens send by god in form of low increment , late promotion. negligible bonus and a super - duper dumbo of the century boss went unnoticed by me ... just becaz of the fear what i am remain unemployed ... what people will say ...........

But God being the grand papa get the things done in most unexpected way and thats why the drama called EA happeened ... a Movie like scene was created ,, strong promises made ... a euphorian life was build around ... and just when the purpose was achieved .... i took the step ... the scene completed and suddenly the whole setup vanished .. just like it happen with movie set and what left was two of us wondering what at all happened .. But the role has now reversed and 2 professional with around 9 + package updated their status to " soon to be unemployed  " ...... One thought was - " hey its a big conspirancy ,, we have been cheated .. why such events happen to us .. what will we do ... what will we say to others ....when we started enjoying our lifes where from these cloud of uncertainty surrounded us ...

But the other thought is - that the way god teaches us hard lesson ... when we dont take the pile on our own ... they make things happen in their own forceful style .. the medicine may taste bitter for some time .. but believe it will have positive effect afterward  .. like it always happens and my 26 years is full of such example as i always resisted change and was always forced to accept then as they were good for me ........

Momma ,.. other then grey & white shades ..life has other colors too and we together will see and overcome all such phases .. this will only make our life truly rememberable and our relation stronger and stronger

Transition from Spinster to Married women!!

Me -Its so difficult to be a house wife for working lady,i wont quit the job ever..
She -Thts gd thought ,bt after having kids these feelings stop haunting u!
Me -Does having kids make lyf happier or again we go deep into responsibilities?
She-U enjoy that phase the most!!It is where u do what u wish..with a sense of more feelings!
Me -N forget all sorrows encountered,coz there is sm1 fr whom u r everything
She- Exactly,u are becoming more samajhdaar!
Me -Every girl must b having this same feeling..its so difficult !!B4 marriage a girl wishes n shares every small thng with her BF/Fiance bt the transition after marriage makes her feel that no other person in this universe can be d best except her siblings n mom to share all the ups n downs..
She -This is called"Blood relation" n the biggest truth of lyf!
Me -U never told me all these are true,i wd hv learnt it b4hand only...truly I'll nvr want my daughter to marry or if even it happens,i'll make her live lyk princess ,where she wd nvr hav to change hrself fr any1!
She -Ever1 is governed by his/her destiny n we must accept that ...........

A small conversation from one person who had same ups n downs after marriage as m getting to know frm mine!
Marriage - A word which rotates lyf by 360 degrees..wht u want,the way u dress,the way u present personally/professionally,ur lyk's ,dislyk's,feelings towards any 1 ...........all these changes.

Then y do we marry??A question haunting my mind n unable to get the ans?
Is it just the social stigma or just the physical needs that makes it an unavoidable ritual ??
It has been true fr evry1 ,evry girl,i suppose where the cultures are very different in the 2 families .Truly,i could nvr understand before, as to y pa-ma had wantd a mod family with huge openness fr both of us..I understand that today!
I wz taught to respect elders ,serve them in their bad times,i carried this sense of feeling only n will alwz maintain this...bt there r so many doubts on me n that also by the ppl who are world for me!

Ya,I hv many responsibilities,job is on one hand n family on another..I will not quit my job,coz i want some part ,some requirements of mine to be just mine..I dnt wnt to regret later ...as i did till few yrs back!

I do understand that old ppl will nvr change their thoughts,n the best practice that m doing from recent few dz is - Just listen n forget , bt still it is not easy as their thoughts ,vn go upon comparison with others ,it hurts evn vn u are tryng to do ur best!This is the moment when it sucks,as if i'm mad..No one can change their mentality & i need to follow this n make a rule of lyf that this sort of behavior is expected n i need to still maintain !!!

I know except my blood relations,no 1 can understand these feelings ,I will be wrong fr rest all evn if i do the best of my mixed responsibilities..I wnt thru' very bad phase in professional lyf since the beginning of this yr n after all odds,some positive thngs hv been kept in my lap ,i need to wrk out n make my transition at office successful ,but hav to deal with both transitions simultaneously..
Well hope all this will make me more stronger as m not gods fav child who will bestow all goodies for me in lyf!!

{ Based on a Conversation I had with a Newly married Women while travelling on a 48 hour journey } 

Revised Draft Guidelines For 2000 MW Grid Connected Power plant

Ministry of New and renewable energy has posted 2nd Version of Draft Guidelines for Implementation of 2000 MW of Grid Connected Solar power plant .

These Project are planned under  " State Specific VGF scheme" .

Important points are :

1. These project would be state specific , so developer would not have freedom to put project at any location as done in previous scheme .
2. VGF has upper limit of INR 1 crore for Open category and INR 1.31 for DCR .... this is a marked reduction as compared to last VGF of INR 2.5 Crore .
3. Introduction of Escalation : INR 0.05 / Kwh per year escalation is introduced till tariff reaches INR 6.43 / Kwh . This clause would help in balancing out for Reduced VGF and immediate need of Fund for SECI .

Guidelines are open for comment till March 16 , 2015  .

Checkout the Detailed Document at below mentioned Link :
http://mnre.gov.in/file-manager/UserFiles/Draft-Guidelines-of-2000%20MW-VGF-Scheme.pdf

Results PEDA solar tender 250 MW

The Financial Bid for 250 MW solar tender floated by Punjab Energy Development authority has been opened .

In Category 1 : Lowest Tariff was quoted by  Azure for 4 MW project at INR 7.33 and Highest by International Switch-gear at INR 7.65 .

Category 2 : Entire 100 MW was picked by 5 developers with Solairdirect being lowest at INR 6.88 for 24 MW  and Highest by Crocus Infra ( Part of Rattan Power)   at INR 7.42

Category 3: 3 developers again Solairdirect at INR 6.88 to Crocus at INR 7.56 .


Entire List can be downloaded from http://peda.gov.in/ .

It would be interesting to see how these project quoted below INR 7 would be feasible as Land Cost in Punjab varies from INR 15 -20 Lakh/acre being one of the costliest in INDIA . Most of these project are expected to be located in MANSA and Ahore region due to better radiation Availability .

Although PEDA has set a tight deadline of March 2016 for this project to avoid change in benchmark tariff but it would be interesting to watch what percent is actually implement considering Last bidding where only 60-75 % of project are commissioned even after 1.5 years of PPA signing .

Remembering DL 3S BL 8445

It's Not a number ...It's the name of my Companion ....My friend which drove me 80 Km a day to-fro Office . Friend which stick with me in all season of year ..... during 4 hours a day /Night ... Patiently listening to my idea's/frustration/conflicts happened at office /home/girlfriend .

A friend who has all the ears for any crap i want to share , in a course of 2 years we completed 36,000 Km ..  

On a deadful night , somebody stole my friend from me ...took away to the dark's ...and what was left was helmet which seemed to be crying along with me in the memories of our friend ... It left a space in my life , which can't be filled again .... Felt like a portion of my brain has been removed ...

It's 2 anniversary from the date we were separated but i can still recall exact picture of my friend and all the cut/bruises/dent on it .... May be time will heal the wounds but the journey would never be so joyful without my friend and the road , the pathways , the flyover's , the bumps we conquered together will speak the stories of our relation .

{ The post is written for My Black Pulsar which was stolen 2 years ago from my house on new year eve and I used to commute on it from Delhi to Faridabad daily to attend office }   

Trip to Valley of Flowers - Lansdowne, Garhwal