Many time we don't need someone to argue ... its our own mind which takes poles apart to start the discussion
there is a topic which is currently peeps up every time i am alone or aloof which is " what to do next " . i am at a place where i am at age of 26 after a hell of qualification which people term is necessary enough to climb whichever ladder i want to ...still don;t able to set my priorities straight .
so the discussion begin with if i want peace of mind or i want material pleasure ??? first stand .. lets go back to home town to live back with papa . mummy with nephew - niece , with sisters and all other for whom i care .. may be back i can't please them with monetary gifts but i can be with them in small events .. sadness and happiness making all of them to part of my memory , cherish the pleasure to be with them becaz if i realize after 5-10 yr this point and then there will no-one who can have same bonding with me as they have in present ... may be then jodhpur will became same as what delhi is for me today ..........
But the counter points comes - hey monu there are 15- 17 of your cousin who are there with family but see their living standard .. they are almost at same place where u left 4 yrs back .. there family seems unaffected by their presence ..they had become a part of the furniture out there . Also My Family had Expectation ... i want to buy them stuff which they missed to bring life to three of us ... my nephew and niece sees me as uncle who will bring loads of gift .. they take me as ideal who is fighting against all odd , leaving far away from family and always made all the right decision .. and back home i will not able to provide the extra things which i always wanted for myself ....my parents made my life better then their own ... now its my duty to pass this leagcy to future chaps ..
And now its not about me .. its about us ...i known she has all good intentions ...she will be a good housewife ..but the fears of in-law make her scared of jodhpur ... I truly understand her point as making it with my mother is a big gamble and in case things don;t make up well , life of all will be hell .. somewhat what we encountered in last trip ...
Truly speaking , till time i was alone in delhi .. all pain - problems i tried to absorbed on my own ...Not transferring that to my family ... knowing that they are already dealing with many back there ... but now i am scared i want to give comfort to her and doesn't known the definition of Ideal Husband .. may be nobody trained or explained what is called a good husband is .. i am still like her old friend who can resolve her difficulty but now to fixer my role has become planner .. her life planner and that makes things scared what if my decision went wrong ?? .
Hope like always ... my mind comes up with a solution by gods grace just before the time i am about to break .. i known i believed this for 26 year and this going to be continue ..thats why people call me Smart ... and i knw who is behind this smartness .... My gods blessing .
there is a topic which is currently peeps up every time i am alone or aloof which is " what to do next " . i am at a place where i am at age of 26 after a hell of qualification which people term is necessary enough to climb whichever ladder i want to ...still don;t able to set my priorities straight .
so the discussion begin with if i want peace of mind or i want material pleasure ??? first stand .. lets go back to home town to live back with papa . mummy with nephew - niece , with sisters and all other for whom i care .. may be back i can't please them with monetary gifts but i can be with them in small events .. sadness and happiness making all of them to part of my memory , cherish the pleasure to be with them becaz if i realize after 5-10 yr this point and then there will no-one who can have same bonding with me as they have in present ... may be then jodhpur will became same as what delhi is for me today ..........
But the counter points comes - hey monu there are 15- 17 of your cousin who are there with family but see their living standard .. they are almost at same place where u left 4 yrs back .. there family seems unaffected by their presence ..they had become a part of the furniture out there . Also My Family had Expectation ... i want to buy them stuff which they missed to bring life to three of us ... my nephew and niece sees me as uncle who will bring loads of gift .. they take me as ideal who is fighting against all odd , leaving far away from family and always made all the right decision .. and back home i will not able to provide the extra things which i always wanted for myself ....my parents made my life better then their own ... now its my duty to pass this leagcy to future chaps ..
And now its not about me .. its about us ...i known she has all good intentions ...she will be a good housewife ..but the fears of in-law make her scared of jodhpur ... I truly understand her point as making it with my mother is a big gamble and in case things don;t make up well , life of all will be hell .. somewhat what we encountered in last trip ...
Truly speaking , till time i was alone in delhi .. all pain - problems i tried to absorbed on my own ...Not transferring that to my family ... knowing that they are already dealing with many back there ... but now i am scared i want to give comfort to her and doesn't known the definition of Ideal Husband .. may be nobody trained or explained what is called a good husband is .. i am still like her old friend who can resolve her difficulty but now to fixer my role has become planner .. her life planner and that makes things scared what if my decision went wrong ?? .
Hope like always ... my mind comes up with a solution by gods grace just before the time i am about to break .. i known i believed this for 26 year and this going to be continue ..thats why people call me Smart ... and i knw who is behind this smartness .... My gods blessing .
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